I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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