We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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