So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
