i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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