I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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