So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
