2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
