I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You've changed since you got that strap on
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
