I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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