So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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