never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize