idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
