Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
