sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
