doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
