You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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