We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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