super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
