If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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