Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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