I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
