I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
