I didn't shave. On purpose
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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