They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
