i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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