Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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