Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
