I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and she was petting her beer can
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
