I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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