I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
