So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
