This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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