after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
