i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
