is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
