he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
