There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ketchup is God's man juice
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
