Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
