Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
