just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
