when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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