well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
