At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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