I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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