also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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