hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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