try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i came on her dog
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Randomize