I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
