i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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