I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
