3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Send help, water and tortillas.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
