1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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