She's JV to your varsity
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Say something about gay babies.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
