1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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