i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize