He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
