it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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