I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
